we’ve taught girls to romanticise nearly everything a boy does. when i was younger i thought it was cute that boys chased the girl even after she said no. i loved it when after a girl moved away from a kiss, the guy would pull her back and force it on. i thought a guy saying ‘i won’t take a no for an answer’ was passionate and romantic. we’re literally always teaching girls to romanticise abusive traits.
There’s a lot of this in fanfic. Young girls have been so convinced that abuse is romantic that they’re writing it into their own fantasies. It even pops up when the character has never been abusive in canon. Abusive behavior is totally out of character, but the fanfic author writes it in because she doesn’t see abuse, she sees romance.
(I know all fanfic authors are not female, but the stuff I’ve read has mostly been written by girls and women.)